One such friend sent me an email relating to a post I made earlier this week which was a bit 'doom and gloom/woe is me'. As I was replying I thought some of the answers might actually explain me a bit better to all and might also prevent people worrying too much.
I do appreciate the worry, but there's plenty more to worry about than an old goth who should really know better by now :-p
Anyway....on to the mail....
Thanks for the mail.
Thanks also for keeping an eye on my LJ every so often. Glad you find it interesting/amusing enough to keeping checking up on :-p
**obviously i don't know you very well at all, but when i read things like "In some ways I wish I could just take a few weeks/months off and disappear to refind myself and flush my system of feeling shit (or maybe of feelings in general)" i get a little worried.**
Don't worry too much. I enjoy attempting to disappear every-so-often and getting a bit of peace and quiet away from things. I can't do it as often as I'd like to as I have a very steady job that requires my presence. The price of responsibility is the chains that bind you to one place unfortunately.
I would love to be able to go away for a few weeks/months and either visit old friends who don't live in the UK or spend time just travelling around and discovering new sights, sounds and friends. I'd love it if I could drag a close friend or two with me so we could all have a memorable adventure.
I also feel like I do need a boost at the moment. Nothing is really wrong but I have been feeling slightly stressed recently (possibly because of work, the place where I live, my girlfriend, or a number of other reasons combines...I don't know) and would love to 'have some time off' away from things. Ain't gonna happen though :(
**from reading your postings i know you've been some dark places in your life and occasionally revisit them, but i hope - sooner than later - you'll be able to put that behind you and find some permanet solace.**
In some ways I'd like to in other ways I'm glad I have my 'dark places'. When I was a lot younger I found that I could tap these 'dark places' and use them to feed my creativity. Unfortunately as I've gotten older I feel that my creativity has been drained by the rest of my life and day-to-day dealings. I generally feel more tired than creative these days which is another reason why I'd like to get a 'refresh'. Maybe just going on a complete hedonistic bender would help achieve this. But it'd have to be with the right person/people. I'd love to do a serious few nights of complete debauchery and maybe I should be working towards organising this but one of my best friends (and the person I'd most like to do this with) is incredibly hard to tie-down :-p
**you strike me as a very descent person and deserving of it.**
Thank you. It's partially an illusion though. I'm really a git, well sometimes and depending on who you ask ;-p
**i haven't a clue as to what you might've been alluding to as the other reason you went to see the doctor, but whatever it is i hope it turns out alright.**
I'm sure it will be fine. I think it's probably all related to some sort of stress issues. Time (and possibly tests) will tell.