February 6th, 2005

Old Friend

Devoid of Hate

Not being able to hate is a horrible thing. I want, I *WISH*, I could hate as it would make life a hell of a lot easier sometimes.

Not being able to hate just makes it all the more likely you'll get stepped on and taken advantage of and then end up forgiving the person/people involved.

I'm also fed up of f**king lies and at the moment there seems to be all too many of those floating about. I wish people would just be honest or f**k off.

Regardless of the above rant my weekend has *generally* been pretty good.  I saw mooncadet for drinks and chats Friday night. We've been chatting quite a bit recently and she's started to become my new confident in many aspects. It's good because apart from not actually being involved in anything that's going on (because she doesn't live in London) she listens - which is a rarer commodity than it should be. So thanks mel for being there and being able to give me impartial thoughts of My F**ked Up Life (tm).

Saturday day didn't really exist for me. After seeing Mel to the tube so she could go and meet her fella I ended up crawling into bed at 11am and didn't resurface until 5pm! That left me an hour to get ready for the Rammstein/Apocalyptica gig. Apocalyptica were awesome and possibly the best support band I have seen ever! It's stunning what four cello's and a drummer can produce :) Rammstein were also very good and their stage set-up was one of the best I think I've ever seen at a live gig. There were less pyrotechnics this time round (I've seem them twice before) but they once again produced a very entertaining evening.

Then I went to Slimes, against my wishes, and now wish that I could actually hate.

You watch, I'll wake up tomorrow and end up being as sweet as pie to person/people again.

I really shouldn't have gone to Slimes - I didn't want to go plus I was feeling a bit under the weather but went as a favour to make sure someone was ok. I am a f**king idiot that certain people just walk all F**king over without giving a shit. Especially when they get drunk. F**KERS.

I wish it wasn't 3am and I wish I could ring a couple of people for a chat. But it is 3am and they will either be asleep, out partying, or probably won't pick up the damn phone.

I'm going to bed. And no I'm not drunk and ranting. I wish I was drunk (could do without the ranting though as I'm most certainly doing that anyway!).


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  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
Old Friend

Devoid...Pt II

(In best Anthony Stewart Head voice...) Previously on "Angus: The Inadequate Messiah".....

Much ranting was had which included the following line:

"You watch, I'll wake up tomorrow and end up being as sweet as pie to person/people again."

I'm now awake. I am however still f**ked off which may, or may not, be a good sign.

In anycase I'm going to go to work and take my mind off things for a few hours. Thanks to everyone who commented last night btw. Just read them and it's appreciated. I wish I could share things more but I find it very hard to put my full trust in people. Mainly because many people seem to be inately untrustworthy or unreliable in the end. There is really no one who knows all about me. Some people have come very, very close (Delphine and Belinda) but it's hard. Letting people inside is difficult because I always feel that one day they won't be there or may not be a friend anylonger and the idea of having someone who knows all about me who then hates me or doesn't talk to me is worse than just keeping things inside. It's the old eternal search I guess.

Hopefully I'll find it one day, and then the Earth will probably be obliterated to make way for a interplanetary freeway knowing my luck :(
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
Old Friend

On the lighter side......

This weekend hasn't been all bad because (apart from previously mentioned gigging).....

I discovered a new drink this weekend courtesy of the madness which is mooncadet. We'd grown a bit tired of drinking red wine and southern comfort and coke and fancied something to warm us up a bit. We did, however, want to continue the 'alocohol' theme of our evening. Thus an experiment was born...... Hot Chocolate and Southern Comfort!!!! Despite initial reservations it actually tasted very nice :D

I was also flirted with at Slimelight last night which was quite nice, even if I wasn't in any mood or frame of mind to do any flirting back. In anycase, there is actually someone I quite like at present and I want to see how we get on. I also made a resolution after Sarah that I want to get to know people before I end up in bed/go out with them and I've never been a fan of one-night stands with strangers (nor have I ever had a one night stand with a stranger). Still, it was nice to be flirted with. Also saw bluehelen, gypseymission, stitchface and gothguyx at Slimes which was really nice (albeit incredibly brief - sorry folks had other things on my mind at the time) as well as catching up with someone I used to work with who now works there (Simon). See it wasn't *all* bad.
Old Friend

Lust......

OK, I admit it. I'm in lust :(

I really, REALLY, *REALLY* want some chocolate at the moment. I haven't had any chocolate since Friday night - and that was only a couple of the Guyan seashells and a mug of alcoholic hot chocolate.

I want to sink my teeth into a nice chocolatey bar or naughtiness. I want to roll the melting chocolate across my tongue and feel it run down my throat as I slowly swollow its goodness.

But what have I eaten instead today? Strawberry yogurt for breakfast followed by two bread rolls, a bag of carrots and a couple of slices of Smoked Ham for lunch. It's just not the same somehow....
  • Current Music
    Groove Armada
Old Friend

Star Wars Meme

You scored as Bossk. Bossk, this Trandoshan wookie hating bounty hunter has a particular dislike for Chewbacca and his human companion. Having been humiliated one to many times by the two he means to have his revenge. Specializing in wookie captures and kills he outfits himself in protective body armor and with a variety of weapons. Bossk gained great fame from his successful wookie hunts, but the one wookie he wants still eludes him. Hearing of the open call for bounty hunters to find the Millennium Falcon, he jumped at the chance have shot at Chewbacca. Arriving on the Super Star Destroyer Executor he found competition from five other bounty hunters, but that would not deter him. Able to regenerate lost limbs and see perfectly in the dark Bossk is one bounty hunter not to be messed with.

</td>

Greedo

100%

Bossk

100%

Aurra Sing

67%

Boba Fett

50%

Jango Fett

50%

Dengar

33%

Zuckuss

33%

Zam Wessel

17%

4-Lom

0%

IG-88

0%

What Star Wars Bounty Hunter Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com
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    Cocteau Twins
Old Friend

Me So Innocent (LJ Sluts Stats)

angusabranson's LiveJournal Slut Stats
The below percentages indicate what angusabranson has done with the 143 people on his friends list!
met

83.2%
hugged

39.2%
dated

1.4%
kissed

13.3%
seen topless

2.8%
seen naked

1.4%
phone sexed

1.4%
made out

5.6%
oral sex

2.1%
fucked

1.4%
What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats?
Sponsored via Adult Friend Finder. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting free account! You may meet the match of your dreams!
Old Friend

FinchleyNotGoth Community

Yo! North London and Finchley people...... this one is for you!!!

I haven't touted the FinchleyNotGoth LJ Community for a while and I know there are several people now on my friends list who have recently got LJ accounts that probably won't know of its existence.

So, my dear local neighbours, if you fancy joining the list we'd love to see you!