February 17th, 2005

Old Friend

Disturbing dreams.....

I'm continuing to have very vivid dreams at the moment. The latest of which was possibly the most disturbing I've had in the last run.

It was a body-switching dream. I believe it involved four people, although to be honest most of my dream was spent from my point of view in the body that I woke up in.

Some of you will find this highly humourous but it quite disturbed me (possibly because of the reality level I was in. I woke up in a luxury hotel room in Vegas as......... Britney Spears!!!!

God knows what the poor girl thought if she woke up in my body, but like I said there were four people it affected so I'm not sure who got my frame for the duration.

I won't go into the rest of the dream but I am prepared to accept that I may subconsiously need a good shag :p
Old Friend

(Poetry) System Failure

System Failure

Damn these things that aren’t working
Leaving me hanging
Leaving me hurting
With a dance floor attitude
And a minds eye smouldering
With the side effects of hell
From a slice of heaven.


By A R J Abranson
(Taken from 'Cry To Me')

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    Certain General; Nouvelle Vague
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Old Friend

(Poetry) Las Vegas

I remember writing 'Las Vegas' on Christmas Day back in 1990. It was, and is, one of my favourites and the backstory I developed behind the poem still gives me a sad smile when I think about it today. It is a love story of a love who died before her time, forever preserved in black and white celluoid. Why an eighteen year old was having those thoughts I have no idea but I'm glad I did.

Las Vegas
Still moving
After all of those years
Trapped on film
In motion.
Pictures of a youthfulness
That has long since
Run away, with your fear
Of a black room.
Late into the night I sit
Watching pictures of the same movies,
Watching pictures of an old you
Trapped in re-run
And a slave to slow-mo,
There’s nothing I can do
To stop my memories
In a time, that has long forgotten you.
Keeping visions of my yesterdays,
Of my yesteryears,
Close to me, close to my heart,
But the memories still shine through
With hurt and pain,
With a feeling of loss,
Without you.
Late into the night I sit
Watching pictures of the same movies,
Watching pictures of a young me,
Watching pictures of an old you.
Watching pictures,
It’s how I remember.
Watching pictures.
I remember you
But now you’re lost
And trapped in re-runs
And a slave to slow-mo.
And the memories hurt.
There’s nothing I can do
To change my yesterdays,
To change our yesteryears.
We’re just slaves together,
But trapped apart,
And I remember you
In Las Vegas
As the reel stops.


By A R J Abranson
(Taken from 'Wild Card Symphonies')

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    Sisters of Mercy
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Musings on Productivity, Creativity and Motivation

The last few years have really seen me at one of the lowest points of my life so far. Not in an emotional way (although I have certainly had low points during this time) but in terms of my creativity and motivation. This has, in turn, seen an incredible drop in my productivity.

This is doubly annoying as I am a point in my life, for a change, where I can actually take control of such things and see them through the stages to print form. Although I'm currently not working on any of the commissioned projects for Cubicle 7 my low motivation has certainly affected the company to a certain degree. Lucikly I have some very talented people working for me so I don't have to worry 'too' much about my own creativity downturn, I just have to make sure the business side of operations work and that the various people in the chain can fulfil their commitments (be they writers, artists, editors, layout artists, etc).

There are projects which I am truly and deeply excited about and I would love to work on (both within Cubicle 7 and without for other companies or my own independant projects) but I need to have a pick-me-up of somekind. The only problem is I don;t know what kind of 'pick-me-up' I need. My most creative times came about when I was younger and to a certain extent when I was depressed. In fact at one point I could manipulate my moods quite easily from 'happy' to 'brooding' to 'depressed' - to an extent I can still do it today although I've not artificially changed my moods (to the negative) for some time. I used to really enjoy locking myself away in my room with a bottle of southern comfort, a packet of fags (or some dope), some good music and my trusty typewriter. Some of the results were, in my opinion, very good. I'd like to try and capture that again but I feel tired. I have slipped into some sort of zone that sucks creativity and motivation from my mind and body. I need to somehow escape from this.

I've thought about taking holidays, about going on complete weekend benders with dubious cocktails and even more dubious friends, trying to storm my system with some kind of 'buzz' to jolt me awake. There are people I'd like to see and hang out with that do wonders to how I feel. Whose company wakens me.

Music still inspires me (both live and recorded), so does reading good books or even (sometimes) seeing great films. I don't know. Maybe I do need a break. A little holiday with a close friend or three. Something different.

Whatever, the end result is I need to break from this zone that I've found myself stuck in.

Any suggestions folks?
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Old Friend

The Class of 2005

I posted this a week ago but then removed it as it wasn't under a cut and a couple of people complained about their friends pages being clogged up. Anyway, I decided I do want to see all my friends so have done it again and place it under a cut for your viewing pleasure.

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Greatest Songs of All Time

I have been thinking about my favourite 'all-time' songs after writing the earlier post about motivation and creativity. I started thinking about writing down my 'Top Ten Songs of All Time' but scrapped the idea as I know I'd forget some startling obviously favourites of my own due to the sheer volume of music I like.

Two songs which would certainly be in the top ten though would be Sunday Bloody Sunday by U2 and the acoustic version of Everlong by The Foo Fighters. New Model Army, Fields of the Nephilim and The Sisters of Mercy would also feature.

One day I may try and create a list, but not tonight. I don't have the time to do it properly nor the, er, motivation. I'd rather just sit here surfing a bit, do some reading and listen to some great music as opposed to try and wrack my brain figuring out the best of it :D

Goodnight folks, may your dreams be great adventures......