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Everyone has them. Some days are up, some days are down.

I don't reccommend having the Gary Jules version of 'Mad World' on repeat on the stereo and recently emptied Southern Comfort bottles lying next to the bed if you're aiming for an 'Up' day.

But then as I don't even take my own advice why the f**k should anyone else ;-p

I can't put my finger on it - which probably explains my return to LJ and the incomprehensive rambling I'm subjecting you, dear readers, to.

I feel shit. I feel down. I feel like I'd really quite like to fall asleep and not wake up tomorrow or tomorrows tomorrow.

I will though. I've always woken up before so I don't really see an imminent change in the scheme of things in that regards.

I think one of my big problems at the moment is that I don't have a 'best' friend that I can freely talk to who is either:

a. Reliable
b. In the country

The closest two people in my life both fall into one of the above catagories and it's tearing me apart. I have friends (thankfully lots of them) but there is a big difference between being a friend and being someone who can listen to all of your problems, give you a hug and the confidence that things will be alright.

I'm a very touchy-feely person and unfortunately I need that human-contact and comfort every-so-often. I can give people my all, can listen to their problems and make them feel better but I kinda need some of that in return sometimes.

My bestest friend now lives in France and although we still chat every week on the phone it's not the same as having her here. My next bestest friend is so screwed up herself that we generally just get incredbly obliterated together and she's not the best person at returning calls even though she keeps stressing she's there if I need her.

But then that's life. This Is Life. Goodbye 2003, Hello 2004.

Strap yourself in for more of the same.

I really should change the record ;-p


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 28th, 2003 05:15 pm (UTC)
I know it's not much help. But you know how to find us. and the mobile phone is always on.
Dec. 29th, 2003 03:56 am (UTC)
mmmm, I can empathise with the best friend thing- having a best friend who's a) monumentally unreliable and b) too messed up by her own problems to need to hear about yours right now, however well-intentioned can be damn frustrating . . .
Jan. 4th, 2004 06:48 am (UTC)
I never felt the need to have "a best friend" or best friends. Fortunately, I do have quite a few friends and can count on implicitly, although most of them are back home... Anyway, I'm around if you need to be cheered up - we Brazilians are good at that. ;)

Happy 2004!

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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