Yep. What he said.
*looks up*

Bless you!
(pinches cheeks)

OK Defrosting Freezer, Guide for Blokes.
Step 1- Buy a copy of the Daily Mail, or the Express or other paper that peddles lies, racism and how lovely celebs are/how fat/ugly/stupid normal people are.
Hold onto this.

Step 2- Remove/eat all goods in fridge/freezer. Ice cream must be ate at once.
Do not do anything except eat the ice cream.
This is a priority man.

Step 2a- Finding the bowl of something in the back of the fridge which seems to have turned green is a good time to throw it out.
For the record finding stuff with green bacteria in the back of your fridge is grim, but NOT as grim as finding stuff with pink bacteria growing on it. You really don't want to know what that means.

Step 3- Once empty take your crap newspaper and spread all over floor below Fridge/freezer. Get UNDER the bugger with it as well.
Also- keep it a few pages deep near the fridge.
How far does the paper go?
As you are a Bloke its best to give it some distance- we blokes find defrosting odd, and leave it for a while- MUCHO water coming. A good four feet is sweet.

Step 4- Pull the plug; open the doors; walk away.

be aware you cats will get nervous at the cracking noises the ice makes; stale smells are sometimes usual.
So is LOTS of water.

have spare shite paper to add to you existing piles. You cannot have enough paper.

Step 5- When ALL the ice is gone, gather up the paper and black bin bag it. Have mop available because the floor will be wet (tip- do not wear socks while doing this- they will get soggy and you WILL have soggy foot smell!)

Step 6- stick food/booze back in fridge.

Step 7- Restock ice cream.

:)

Hey- trust me on this!
I have been trained by several girlfriends!

Just so you know, some newer freezers have a hole in the bottom and some even have a little pipe to stick in the hole which controls the flow of the water into a tin or bowl. Check for this before flooding the kitchen. Also as ice falls out dont wait for it to melt and flood the kitchen, simply put it in the sink to defrost there.

Yup... all of the above advice is exactly what I would say. I do, however, have a tendency to attack the ice as it is defrosting with a hammer and chisel (or flathead screwdriver) to get out large chunks of ice and save more water from getting on the floor.

I should point out here that slipping with the chisel or screwdriver and putting a hole in the side of the freezer is *not* a good thing...

you're funny :)

You could also put a plastic washing up bowl or similar into the freezer to reduce the amount of water that the towels/newspaper have to absorb.

if yer gentle with it, try moving it towards you, and tilting it back slightly, means less on the floor, but means you have to get the water out, which can be grim.

less mopping though....

Well, would LOVE to, but the art of defrosting is practiced by us house-trained blokes when IN a relationship.
Otherwise we sit around with our hands down our trousers, enjoying the smell of our old socks and watching the ice grow!

Also some freezers have a drip tray or channel wher the watter will run, so you might catch som water there. Another bit of advice, give it a good scrub out once defrosted. it may stink badly after all the ice has melted.

gabby

Thermite.

http://www.allatoms.com/thermitepicpage.htm