I've blatantly stolen this from cyberpunkgrrl 's LJ.
> An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting
> it up with St. Peter at the pearly gates when all of
> a sudden she hears the most awful, blood-curdling
> screams. "Don't worry about that," says St. Peter,
> "it's only someone having the holes put into her
> shoulder blades for wings." The old lady looks a
> little uncomfortable but carries on with the
> Ten minutes later, there are more blood-curdling
> screams. "Oh my God," says the old lady, "now what
> is happening?" "Not to worry," says St. Peter,
> "She's just having her head drilled to fit the
> halo." "I can't do this," says the old lady, "I'm
> going to hell." "You can't go there," says St.
> Peter. "you'll be raped and sodomized." "Maybe so,"
> says the old lady, "but I've already got the holes
> drilled for that!"