Not entirely sure why, possibly me thinking about life currently and over the last few years this evening, but I've just written and finished two brand new poems for the first time in years. In fact I can't really remember the last time I was regularly writing poetry - must have been about 10 years ago. I know I was immersed in the stuff up to my relationships with Angela and Melissa. I guess I was more chilled out and at oeace with life after that.

I had a good chat to Lady Bug this morning about life and how being content, and having a safety net, makes you lazy and loose the edge. I valued that edge for years and molded it for a lot of creative expression through fiction, poetry and game writing. I also had a lot of fun whilst I was at it.

Now I know I'm a lot older than I used to be and much of my misbegotten youth would probably comatose me these days but I have allowed myself to get bogged down with certain things. I still, sometimes/rarely, push things towards the edge to remind myself that I still exist and have something to offer but it's not often enough.

I mentioned the other day I had three things I wanted to accomplish this week. I realise that two of them tie in with regaining some of that edge and sense of fulfilment and living.

I guess it's been on my mind for longer than I realised.

I am really looking forward to the future. But I also need to go through a self-cleansing process to be on top of my game and start feeling properly alive as opposed to wandering through a fog and watching time flash past me without being able to slow the process down and utilise it.

This week really see's me start walking down that avenue.