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Brooding

Been thinking about kids and having a really broody "I want to have a little baby Angoo' type of morning.

I guess it's better to have that at times like these where I'm not in the position to go and do something about it.

The danger comes when you have these moments and are in a relationship. This will pass fairly quickly, the other would take 18+ years to move on!

Comments

angusabranson
Oct. 29th, 2007 09:24 pm (UTC)
Not really.

I'm very glad of all my relationships and don't look back at any of them with regret.

The only regrets I usually have are those people I could have had relatiionships with but for some reason didn't.

There is no use regretting somethign which was really enjoyable and fun. Things come to an end sometimes. Doesn't diminish what there was.

Both parties move on to other things and continue to grow as people through their experiences. There are 6 billion people on the planet at present, it'd be very blind and narrow minded to think there was only ever one Mr or Mrs Right for each of us.

I've been lucky enough to have known some absolutely fantastic girls, and I hope to know one or two more in my life. One day I will hopefully settle down when I meet someone and we both click and it works in all departments. Then a few years later when everything is on track I hope to have some baby Angoo's or Angette's.

No sadness about that.

Just opportunities, experience and a lot of very fond memories :)
saffrongraphics
Oct. 29th, 2007 10:22 pm (UTC)
Your life view is so lovely and optimistic. Wonderful to hear. :)

I know so many people who cringe at the thought of their past partners, and wish to forget so much of their past life. One can't help but wonder if such lives are based around "receiving back what one puts out into the world", and these people just haven't realized that things could be so very different for them.

Heh. Now **that** could be avoidance-based optimism on my part. :D
angusabranson
Oct. 29th, 2007 10:39 pm (UTC)
There's no point cringing over past partners. They're in the past afterall! :p

Seriously though, if someone spends too long cringing over too many past partners then they really need to look at themselves and start actually going out with people they *like*. Radical concept, but if you are selective and choose your partners carefully based upon you both getting on and being able to be friends with the bonus of other things clicking in to place things tend to go a lot smoother and more enjoyibly.

The thing I look for, first and foremost, in any relationship I have entered or will enter is "Could this person be my best friend and confident". Obviously there are other criteria but if someone I'm going out with can't be one of my closest, if not my closest, friend then I don't see why I should be entering a relationship with them.

I usually get to know the people I go out with before getting into a relationship with them. This isn't always the case but I find if you get to know the person and still like and want to be with them then your chances of working things out and enjoying your time together are greatly improved.

It's possibly another reason why many of my relationships and/or one-few night stands have come from within my circles of friends as opposed to meeting people randomly. It's the feeling of closeness and friendship.
saffrongraphics
Oct. 29th, 2007 10:49 pm (UTC)
I agree with you, so very much. Far too many people seem to have an attitude, in NZ at least, that going on **several dates** or becoming friends with someone before going out with them is too slow. NZers don't date very well, nor do they seem to have a lot of patience to check someone out before they risk too much of themselves.

I think there's a silly ideal in place where instant chemistry and lust matter the most: actually being able to hang out with the person and talk for the next few months/years seems to be forgotten about as a mate selection factor. No wonder know so many people who've gone out with a horrendous number of partners who've made their lives miserable. Engage brains and hormones.

I'm not one to talk. Most of my relationships occurred because I felt sorry for the guy. Yes, I'm sitting in the corner wearing my dunce hat. :P
angusabranson
Oct. 29th, 2007 10:57 pm (UTC)
Feeling sorry for someone is a terrible reason to go out with them. For you and also them if they find out the raesoins (although I guess they've been laid which takes some of the misery out of it :p)
saffrongraphics
Oct. 30th, 2007 02:41 am (UTC)
Of course it's terrible. Hence the dunce hat!

I caved far too often when confronted with pleading, sad stories, pathetic adoration, etc. Then I did that whole pendulum thing (dunce hat still on): go for guys who treated me like shit.

I've only sorted myself out in the last 2 years, and must I admit my "good relationship" skills are a tad undeveloped. Maybe my late social development in this arena = a slow painful slide out of the gene pool. Hard to say. [hmmmm... hope not]

No, not feeling particularly sorry for myself. Just musing. :)

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